What to Do If Your Child Hates School

Hearing your child say they hate school can be worrying and sometimes confusing. For many families, it raises questions: Are they struggling with friends? Is the workload too much? Are they just going through a phase? While every situation is unique, it’s important to recognise that strong negative feelings toward school are real and deserve attention.

Children may express dislike for school in different ways. Some become irritable, clingy, or anxious in the mornings. Others may complain of headaches, stomach aches, or frequent “sick days”. Some might withdraw socially or show a lack of motivation for tasks they usually enjoy. These behaviours are often signals of underlying stress or discomfort, not simply defiance or laziness.

Understanding the root cause is the first step. Talking with your child in a calm, non-judgmental way can help them articulate what’s bothering them. Listening carefully - without immediately offering solutions or minimizing their feelings - lets children feel heard and supported.

Practical strategies can also help. Working with teachers or school counsellors can identify adjustments or supports that make school more manageable. Small changes, like helping children establish routines, providing consistent encouragement, and building coping strategies for challenging situations, can reduce stress and increase confidence.

It’s also important to maintain perspective: school is only one part of a child’s life. Encouraging hobbies, friendships, and activities outside the classroom can give children a sense of success and joy that isn’t tied to academic performance.

Most importantly, parents can reassure children that strong feelings about school are normal and manageable. By combining understanding, communication, and practical support, children can gradually build resilience, feel more confident navigating challenges, and, in time, find ways to engage more positively with their learning environment.